i asked my mom earlier this week if i could celebrate my birthday this year, and she told me that she’d give me an answer by saturday. today is saturday, so i was gonna ask her what she thought. on my way downstairs, i overheard my dad downstairs talking to my mom in ilocano saying, “why should we celebrate his birthday if all he ever does is gives us headaches and problems— it’ll just be a waste of time, and a waste of YOUR money. he doesn’t deserve one. you’re just gonna be celebrating another year of raising a faggot”. then both of them started talking about how my dad was right, and that i grew up to be a horrible son. i was in my little hallway upstairs as i was listening to them talk. i went back into my bedroom, and all i was thinking was “why?”.. “why me?”.. i laid on my bed and looked up at my ceiling. i found myself crying at the thought of being called a faggot by my dad. i heard my mom walking up the stairs, and i quickly pulled my red blanket over my body and pretended to be asleep. she barged into my room and said, “alfred, we decided that you can’t have a party this year”. i exclaimed, “WHAT?! WHY NOT?!” she said, “because you don’t even deserve to have a birthday party. you’ll be inviting too many friends again. you should be thankful that i’m already buying your clothes, school supplies, and food for you too eat. but you’re still so unthankful. you’re always going out, or you’re always in your room. and besides it’s just your birthday. we celebrated it sixteen times already. you’re old now. you don’t need birthday parties anymore”— etc. etc. etc. she went on and on about how much i don’t clean, or do shit in this house. this whole time when she was talking, i kept interrupting her and defending myself, but she kept telling me to shut up. she kept comparing my life to her life when she was a kid. and then this is the part that hurt me the most. when she said, “your papa and i don’t really want to celebrate your birthday this year. it just reminds us of a big mistake we made”. then i said, “whaaaaat?!” she just looked at me with disgust and slammed my door as she left my room. man.. aha, i really thought.. i really thought that things were gonna be okay. but no. something always has to come and break my heart. whether it’s a friend, a lover, or a family member.. i always get hurt in the end. but now.. i feel like.. my parents would be more excited to attend to my own funeral than celebrate my own birthday party.
Christine 1983
I just finished watching this movie. It is sooooooooo good. Fuckin’ intense as fuck. I like how you see Arnie’s transformation from good to bad.
Mark Mejia - “Cupid” (Lloyd Cover)
I decided to do a cover track of Lloyd’s “Cupid,” which I’ve been working on for the past couple days, and I guess I’m finally done! I figured it’d be best for me to do at least this since I haven’t really done anything musical or productive lately, haha. I hope you guys like it! :)
The download link is here, if you guys want the MP3:
http://www.mediafire.com/?6d2jo6otqgl1vdd..Or, if it doesn’t work, you guys could use your little Tumblr-audio-ripping plugins, LOL.
And yeah, excuse my amateur, low-quality mic, haha. I should probably invest in a better one soon.
Cover photo by Basil Vargas.
“it’s five o’ clock in the morning”~
aha, mannnnnn. i can’t go back to sleep. so imma be a lil’ ho and take a picture of myself. aha, anywho— i keep thinking about you. aha, so i’ll just update you guys with my love life real quick. okay, so there’s this guy. omg, he’s just so amazing. i’m like, falling head over heels over this guy— wait, not heels like high heels, lol, but like heels like “achille’s heel” lol, ANWAYS, omg. he’s just so perfect. at this point, i could care less about the distance now. you can’t give up on somebody just because of distance, right? well, yeah okay so i really like this guy alot. he’s so humorous. always keeps me laughing, smiling, and happy. he’s so talented that it makes me melt. & unffffff he’s like the perfect height for me. his hair is sho’ cute. and his voice, omg, his voice. it’s so orgasmic. especially when he sings and says “hiiiiii alfie!” aha, i’d say everything’s going pretty well as of now. i’m really scared to mess things up cause.. eh, you guys know me by now. man, i haven’t had a boyfriend since freshmen year.. i guess i’m just hella serious when it comes to relationships, but yeah. i think i should talk to him more, get to know him a lot more, and just always be there for him. i don’t wanna be clingy tho’! i really hope things work out tho. he’s so perfect, mayunnnnn. i always fuck things up.. but i really hope i don’t this time. i just hope that you like me just as much as i like you.. aha, ew. i sound so weird. wtf, why am i still awake, lol.
Rapid Hope Loss | Dashboard Confessional
“Well thanks, thanks for waiting
This long to show yourself, show yourself.
Because now that I can see you,
I don’t think you’re worth a second glance.So much for all the promises you made,
They you served you well,
But now you’re gone and they’re wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm,
It served you well,
But now you’re gone and it’s wasted on me.I guess that all you’ve got
Is all you’re gonna get.
So much for, so much more.”
They were favorite band back in middle school, and they still are today.
I don’t know about majoring in illustration/animation anymore.. I’m just ehh.. even tho’ my mom says she’s “okay” with it.. I can tell that she really isn’t.. I’m thinking about becoming a marine biologist or maybe even an industrial engineer.
“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.”
(Source: thesuicideofangels)
The Beatles - In My Life
- i’m so tired of being called “faggot”
- i’m so tired of being made fun of
- i’m so tired of hearing “that’s gay”
- i’m so tired of being judged
- in the end, i wish i wasn’t gay
- i wish i was straight
- i wish i wasn’t labeled all the time
- i wish i wasn’t laughed at everyday
- i wish i could make my parents happy by not being gay
- i wish i could have my own family one day
- i wish i wasn’t so open
- i wish i kept all my thoughts to myself, but i can’t. i just.. can’t.
Mark Mejia Fuck.. This guy can sing!!! Pressplay 2012!! Watch in hd!!
Follow him you fan girls!! ^^
Ah, thanks Andrew! :D Ryan Manalili on the guitar.
Lmao omg, my voice crack in the last song.. -__- Oh well, haha.
His voice is heaven <3
Omg, I would die if he sang to me in person.
Playlist → Justin Bieber - Stuck In The Moment(Acoustic Version)
See, that’s the problem with having a best friend. When they leave, you feel lost.
